What Married Women Want


How can you tell when research findings are valid? When they confirm your position! Sociologist Brad Wilcox did that for me in his new study, “What’s Love Got to Do with It? Equality, Equity, Commitment, and Women’s Marital Quality.” Briefly, he concluded the following:

         (1) Women want their husbands to be emotionally engaged, affectionate, empathic and tuned into their wives. Being tuned in is more important than helping with household chores.

(2) Woman whose husbands actively attend church are happier and those marriages are significantly less likely to divorce than the average.

(3) Women want things to be fair in their homes but they do not equate fairness with equality.

(4) Women want the man to be the main provider, creating financial security and freedom to make choices about whether to work a little or a lot.

Stan Guthrie’s entire interview of Dr. Wilcox can be seen by clicking here. At the end of that post, you can find additional interviews about Wilcox’ views on women.

I was particularly encouraged by these findings because my wife agreed that these are the main things that make her happy about me. So ends my need for additional research!


3 Responses to What Married Women Want

  1. I would say this study seems accurate of how women feel, but it is often hidden behind past hurt and/or disappointment. As a man, I would feel more freedom if my future wife felt this way, so that I’m free to help make the home stable as a leader and financial provider (including a spiritual balance as well) and she feels free to help make the home a comfortable place, yet also works some as well to keep from feeling “trapped in the home.” I want my future wife & I to know we are equal, but not feel like we have to prove that to one another. It just clicks.

  2. Lee says:

    Thanks for commenting Adam. You have touched on the reason relationships require a lot of discernment. That is, the same behavior might be coming from authenticity or it might be a compensation that functions as a cover for authentic needs. Sounds like your future wife is going to have a very sensitive and caring husband who will honor her and treat her tenderly. On a related note, I was reading a paper by Dr. Seven Tracy (Professor of Theology and Ethics at Phoenix Seminary) yesterday in which he was addressing God’s creation of woman. He noted “woman was not created to serve man but to serve with man.” Overall, he takes a “soft complementaian” position which I am very comfortable with. I’ll be posting more from him soon. In the meantime, perhaps I can connect you with some available single women.

  3. I’ve been married now for six years and can attest that these statements are true. Although when I met my wife I was making a couple dollars over minimum wage as a finish carpenter and she was getting ready to start a RN job in New Jersey at over making four times that. This many years later she is still the main bread winner for our household. And this is not atypical in our region. Due to our economy many men cannot get good paying jobs, but their wives work in skilled fields and make a good income.

    Biblically men going back to Adam were condemned to toil in the fields and provide for their families. In our region men have had to adapt to being stronger emotional and spiritual leaders to make up for the lack of finacial leadership. And I say this to any men who may be in a similar situation to keep hope and know that you are not alone in this.

    My wife worked third shift for seven years. I learned that my wife was the envy of her floor at the hospital because I would bring her food or stop my to talk with her in the middle of the night. So it’s very true that woman long to be nurtured emotioinally.

    I have had to work most Sundays for the past four years and that has effected our life as a couple as well. But in the last two months we’ve begun attending a Saturday evening service and the change is remarkable. It’s nice when we can sit over a meal and talk about what the message. There is definately a spiritual bond that forms from this simple act.

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