I happened upon it about the same time I was reading in The Case for Marriage (by Waite and Gallagher)
. . . commitment produces contentment; uncertainty creates agony. Some couples undoubtedly move toward the closure of divorce simply to escape the emotional hell of perpetual ambivalence. (p. 182)
In a more spiritual context, Doug Goins’ message at Peninsula Bible Church supports the importance of commitment from Chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians. (I used to visit that church in California in the ‘60’s)
It seems to me that a follower of Proverbs 16:3 (“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed”) ought also to commit to the mate that the Lord provides. It is in our commitment to the Lord that the vow, “as long as you both shall live” makes sense.
Now back to Ms. Cavendish’s article which I have copied in it’s entirety below:
Why we all need to commit: My attitude to marriage is changing. My middle-class reluctance to judge others is fading.
My friend Ann and her girlfriend are having IVF in New York. My friend Hatty is “basting” every month in London with a gay male friend who has offered to help her have the baby she longs for. My mate Shona shacked up with her boyfriend the day she met him, and was pregnant after two months. They all ask: do you think I’m doing the right thing?
What can I say? Except that it’s pure luck that I ended up with a nice bloke, two children and a ring on my finger, and I could never judge any of these three for finding their own way to make a family. They are educated, they are solvent, they are mature, they have inner resources that will make them great parents.
So when the BBC recently asked me to make a radio programme about the return of marriage to the centre of political debate, I assumed I’d be taking a pretty liberal line. Experts of all political stripes are agreed that stability is hugely important for children. But stability, I figured, surely came in all shapes and sizes.