Different Cultures, Same Jesus

Chinese Gospel Church members at the retreat center in Muskegon, MI

I’m with Pastor Elliott Lee who invited me to speak. He’s a DTS grad doing a great job with the youth!

I’m a mono-culture guy, born and raised in America. So this invitation to speak at the youth retreat for the Chinese Gospel Church in Michigan expanded my horizons. The young people were born in America but have Chinese parents. Their parents were born in China and came to America and became citizens. These different kinds of cultural experiences impact our identity, so the question we all wrestle with is “Who am I?” How much does our culture influence our identity? How do we embrace our unique qualities without feeling weird or peculiar? (In general, I have noticed that most people do not handle differences well. They either comply, attack or withdraw.) It is the confident person who can stand strong and offer something worthwhile to help everyone live more productive lives.

With four opportunities to dialog with the kids, we dealt with four A’s:

I am an Asian — Heritage tells you where you came from but it doesn’t fully define you. For most of these kids, the Asian culture was very stressful and left little room for leisure and fun. They felt the need to excel and compete to be the best.

I am an American – But do you align yourself with the American culture and values or do you comply with your parents’ values and priorities? What are the pros and cons of each culture? We looked at the good, the bad and the ugly of the American culture by discussing David Brooks’ article in the New York Times, “Five Lies That Explain Our Culture:” (1) Career success is fulfilling, (2) I can make myself happy, (3) Life is in individual journey, (4) You have to find your own truth, and (5) Rich and successful people are worth more than poorer and less successful people. I was impressed by how they discerned the partial truth in each of these while realizing the lie.

I am an Adolescent – How do I navigate this transition period from childhood to adulthood while honoring my parents and fitting in with my peer group. Like most adolescents, they struggled to keep up with their peers and maintaining close friends when everyone is so busy. Bullying was also an issue, so we took tie to discuss how a well-grounded identity and strong confidence were necessary in standing firm. We all were amazed that the negative view of teenagers by adults is nothing new. This quote is from Socrates around 400 BC! “They [adolescents] now seem to love luxury, they have bad manners and contempt for authority, they show disrespect for adults and spend their time hanging around places gossiping with one another. They are ready to contradict their parents, monopolize the conversation and company, eat gluttonously and tyrannize their teachers….” Read more:  http://www.hopefortheheart.org/teenagers/#ixzz5obzprbFj

I am an Ambassador for Christ – If my citizenship is in heaven and I am an instrument to carry the Gospel message to the world where I live, it doesn’t matter so much whether I’m Asian or American or anything else! 2 Corinthians 5:18-20. What does being an ambassador look like for real?

Why is it important to clarify our identity? Because the more clear we are about who we are and what we stand for the more confidently we can hold our own in an atmosphere of differences; the less likely we will be carried away by peer pressure or influenced by trends. Our unity does not come from being alike; our unity comes from worshipping the same God, Jesus! I felt remarkably united with these outstanding individuals that I met for the first time and will long remember them with fondness.

I forget where I saw this, but I shared it at the beginning and the end of our time in Muskegon:

“Ask yourself what is really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer.”

It was a very busy weekend.

It was a pivotal point in human history.  The Prince of Peace culminated a three-year ministry that transformed the way God dealt with His people.  No longer would people search for peace with God through compliance with the law.  That weekend on Friday, He died on a cross and was buried.  On Sunday, He was raised from the dead.  He knocked the end out of a “dead-end street” and turned death itself into a passageway to life.  He demonstrated that death is not the end of life, but a transition into our ultimate destiny, life with Him.  For me, a whole new quality of life emerged.  On a day-to-day basis I began to know Jesus personally and to grow in my relationship with him. 

That weekend changed the way I think about events in time.  I used to wonder how a historical event 2,000 years ago could have any significant impact on me today.  In Greek grammar, there is a verb tense that carries the meaning of a past event that continues to bring results in the present.  It’s called the “perfect tense.”  That busy weekend provided the perfect basis for my faith in which I now stand and a quality of life which I now enjoy.

The Bible says it clearly:

³ For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, ⁴ and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, …”                                 (1 Corinthians 15:3-4)

That weekend changed my quality of life.  My life had been good, but it was two-dimensional.  I surrendered the control of my life to Christ late in 1968 and experienced a spiritual “rebirth.”  The third dimension added to my new life was spiritual.   Instead of striving to achieve goals, I found myself surrendering to God’s lead, being used by him to accomplish his will.  Instead of getting exhausted and tired chasing my own goals, I found myself getting energized and excited.  Instead of wondering if my contributions would soon become obsolete, I found a peace of mind and confidence that I could contribute to timeless issues of people’s lives.  People and the Word of God, these became secure investments for the rest of my life!  Even when I left my profession of electrical engineering and didn’t know exactly what lay ahead of me, I knew the WHO that would take me there.  Jesus is the “who” that takes care of all the “what” in my life.  Security became based on the experiential reality of knowing Jesus who can never falter or fail.

That event transformed the way I now see circumstances in my life.   Events are not determinative, but evidence of God’s intervention in my life for my good.   So-called “bad” things (like cancer) simply bring curiosity at how God is pruning me and bringing me closer to Him.   So-called “good” things, like health and comfort and success, need not bring pride because I can’t take credit for so much anymore.  God is at work in my life!  I no longer see God through the lens of my circumstances, but I can assess my circumstances through God’s eyes.

That event 2000 years ago continues to remind me that, though I am a small part of this world, I am not without value.  I am significant and I matter.  If worth is measured by the price paid for something, then I am humbled by the price God paid for my salvation on that busy weekend.

This Easter, I reflect on the impact of that busy weekend on me: Jesus came so that his followers “may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).  Okay, I must say it: “Hallelujah!”

Safety and Relationships

 

In the 12th century, a man built this castle because he needed safety.  It’s up high on a hill.  It’s walls are thick and sturdy.  But it has two problems.  It can form a prison for its inhabitants walling in as much as it walls out.  This leads to the second problem of isolation from relationships.  So where do we turn to find safety from things that threaten our well-being while at the same time enjoying rich and vital relationships with others?  I think we find the answer in deeper connection with other people and in deeper honesty with God.

Sometimes people are like that castle.  Their body carries the memories of trauma and wounds that are painful.  So they build walls to keep themselves safe and comfortable.  But secrets breed sickness of a kind.  Bottled-up emotions carry an internal heaviness and private pain.  Then the people try to numb the pain by overwork or many other soothing behaviors.  They distance themselves from internal awareness because what’s inside isn’t very pleasant.  Externally, they distance themselves from close relationships because relationships are complicated.  They wall in their own vitality.  Something dies and becomes unresponsive.  In short they wall out and wall in.

Next to the castle is a retreat center here in Interlaken, Switzerland, where I’m one of 12 counselors providing counseling and encouragement for over 55 men working cross-culturally around the world.  Many of them serve in very unsafe places.  Many of them have never had a safe place where they can openly talk about some of their wounds, their struggles, their frustration without being judged.  We’re hearing phrases like “loneliness, pressure-cooker, isolation, and no one to turn to.”  The goal of “Traction” is to provide care and refreshment to fuel these men for the work of their calling.  In addition to worship, teaching, outdoor activities and personal reflection these men allow themselves to “open up.”  The counseling we offer is a tangible way of experiencing safety and relationship together.  As the men risk trusting another human being, they are motivated to trust God more.  And, of course, as they trust God more they can entrust themselves to other people better.  That’s what makes their ministry more effective.

Susan Johnson, an expert in the area of intimate relationships, writes:

“A secure bond is the launching pad for our going out and exploring the unknown and growing as human beings. It is hard to be open to new experiences when our attention and energy are bound up in worry about our safety. It is much easier when we know that someone has our back.”  p. 24

 

In Old Testament times, David experienced the combination of safety and relationship which he expressed in Psalm 61 and 62:

Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer;
from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint.
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I,
for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. So will I ever sing praises to your name as I perform my vows day after day. For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.

As these verses become more experientially real, we find ourselves closer to God.  How is it for you?  Let me know what part of this you struggle with.  Let me know what has been helpful to you in realizing this i n your life.

Common Ground?

 

The issue of transgender identity polarizes opposing camps so vigorously that we seem to prefer warfare and judgment rather than understanding and compassion. Everybody’s yelling and no one’s listening. Everyone is right and everyone else is wrong. Most people take a hard position defending their conclusions and no one is learning anything. I am concerned about the stagnation that this polarization creates. How do we soften the impasse that locks up human dialog, as though listening might cause us to compromise our most fundamental beliefs? We tend to hurl critical stereotypic slogans across a chasm of division emphasizing the virtues of our own position along with the disastrous aspects of those who differ with us. Do we need to compromise the principles we hold firmly in order to listen to those who differ with us? I don’t think so. But what we desperately need to do first, before we judge and conclude anything, is to search for and find some common ground between to opposing sides. It’s not finding a midpoint and it’s not finding a compromise. But it’s about finding some points of mutual agreement before we discuss points of disagreement. This is how we start resolving differences while maintaining a measure of dignity as we grow. This is how we begin to learn how to be respectful, loving and kind to the people with whom we differ.

My own identity is based in three camps, none of which are doing a very good job of clarifying issues or trying to find any common ground. I identify with the scientific camp, having a couple of engineering degrees and enjoying the objective aspects of the scientific method. I also identify with the psychological camp, having spent the past 40 years as a counselor and having earned a Ph.D. in that specialty. Most of all, I identify with the theological camp which emphasizes timeless and universal Truth (with a capital T), which is primarily relational and absolute in a way that promotes humility and grace rather than arrogance. OK, let’s see what each of these camps present.

The Scientific/Medical Camp is beginning to weigh in on the issue with facts, opinions, and proposed solutions. Scientific American  featured an article in the January 2016 issue entitled “Young and Transgender: How Best to Help Them Thrive.” The American Academy of Pediatrics  led off their statement with a clear declaration of their conclusions: “Gender Ideology Harms Children.” Here are the highlights of what they said:

 

• Believing that someone is something they are not is a sign of confused thinking.
• Human sexuality is an objective biological binary trait
• Everyone is born with a biological sex.   Gender awareness is a sociological and psychological concept and is subjective by nature.
• Puberty-blocking hormones can be very dangerous. As many as 98% of gender confused boys and 88% of gender-confused girls eventually accept their biological sex after naturally passing through puberty.
• Rates of suicide are 20 times greater among adults who use cross-sex hormones and undergo sex reassignment surgery.
• Conditioning children into believing a lifetime of chemical and surgical impersonation of the opposite sex is normal and healthful is child abuse.

 

The Psychological/Sociological Camp position is best expressed by and article in my favorite journal in the field, Psychotherapy Networker. In their March/April 2016 issue, they featured “The Great Escape: Welcome to the World of Gender Fluidity” by Margaret Nichols which paints a clear picture of the current views of this camp.  Here are the highlights of what she said:

• Beginning in 2013, the diagnosis “Gender Identity Disorder” no long exists. The DSM-5 renamed the diagnosis “Gender Dysphoria.” Thus, distress is now the salient feature of the diagnosis rather than identity.
• Social intolerance, not gender diversity, is the basic problem. Thanks to the Internet and television, great progress has been made in providing a tribal sense of belonging for transgender individuals. More forward-thinking therapists, as well as more permissive parents, now create a healthy atmosphere of acceptance and advocacy for these individuals.
• There is no such thing as “the opposite sex.” More accurate new terms are coming into existence such as a gender continuum, a gender spectrum or a gender web.
• Mental health professionals have the responsibility to affirm the self-determination of transgender clients. Parents should take their minor children only to gender specialists for help.
• It remains to be seen if there will be an increase in surgery and hormone treatment. As society changes, our view of what is normal will change and we must all come to terms with this change.

 

The Conservative Theological Camp

Bryan Fischer, American Family Radio host, took a strong position against transgenderism as though there is nothing more to learn. Like many of my Evangelical, Bible-based friends (and conservative politicians) the strong rhetoric is primarily what is wrong, bad, detrimental, and evil. This position not only polarizes people but also fails to offer well-informed positive alternatives to the problems. Thus, good people with whom I agree theologically tend to marginalize and isolate the bigger and deeper Christian perspective on issues. We are inclined to emphasize what’s wrong with other people more than what we have to offer them to make their lives better. Here are the highlights of what he said:

• “Accepting transgenderism is child abuse.
• “No nation that truly loves children would allow this alarming and disturbing trend to continue for another day.”
• “The biblical truth about gender identity is confirmed by biological science. Human sexuality is binary by design.”
• A person’s view of his/her own sexuality that differs from biological truth is a delusion.
• It’s a criminal act in four states to help a gender-confused teen reconcile his sexual identity with his biological identity. If this trend continues, it will be a blight on the health and strength of our nation.

So what is a guy like me to do? I tend to think analytically like the scientific camp; I treasure the richness of interpersonal relationships like the psychological camp;  I am grounded in a biblical worldview so strongly that I’d be willing to die for my faith. Rather than emphasizing the superiority of my point of view and harshly condemning others for their ignorance or evil, I simply ask, “Is there any common ground?” This is not “compromise.” This is not finding a midpoint between positions. Perhaps if we pause to find some common ground, we could stop hurling insults across a chasm of ignorance and begin a more respectful dialog as we discuss our differences.

Here are some of my suggestions of where common ground might exist where all sides could agree as a starting point.

1. Life is difficult. Every human being struggles with some internal issue(s).
2. Compassion toward other human beings should guide our attitudes more strongly than judgment and condemnation.
3. Many issues, like gender identity, are complex and difficult to understand. This should motivate us to seek more understanding of why some people believe differently than we do.
4. We have choices in life, which result in both positive and negative outcomes. Some things are not a matter of choice, like what period of time in history will we be born, in what country, to what parents?
5. In addition to standing firmly on issues on which we disagree, it’s beneficial to offer some solutions to the problems that we see.

Would you join me in looking for additional common ground between these warring camps? Then we can clarify our contributions in light of our worldview (which also needs to be clarified). Only then can an intelligent discussion result which might contribute to our edification and dignity as human beings?

PS: If you are interested in an intelligent response to those who object to “binaries” (i.e. polarized right-wrong points of view), click here and listen to a 3/14/2016 message by Tim Keller in New York City.

Want Wisdom? First, LISTEN!

This page from the Rule of St. Benedict, written 700 years ago sits in a showcase in an Abby in Melk, Austria.  For the Benedictine monks, their Rule of Life begins with “Ausculta” which in German means, “LISTEN”.   For centuries, those who seek wisdom have realized the importance of listening.

Rewind another 2900 years to hear Moses teach the Israelite people that before they enter the Promised Land they need to listen to God. “Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one.”  It’s a timeless wisdom; before we do anything of significance, listen to God.

When Peter, James and John stood on the Mount of Transfiguration, telling Jesus about their great idea of building tents to house Jesus, Moses and Elijah, a voice came from the cloud, saying, “This is my Son, my Chosen One; listen to him!”  Once again we see how important it is to listen before doing anything.

But listening goes against our basic nature. On October 18, 2015, Reverend Chad Scruggs, one of our pastors, gave a sermon on the book of James showing us how we need to grow up.  We need to discipline ourselves to listen quickly (because we are naturally slow to listen) and to slow down our natural tendencies to speak and to express anger quickly. Perhaps James was thinking of the Proverb: “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” (Prov. 18:13)

Why is listening so primary? What does it accomplish? As I look through the Bible at all the references to “listen,” I find that most of them have to do with listening to God. In those passages, we could just as well replace it with the word “obey.” For example, Proverbs 8:32-33 or Isaiah 46:12.  So listening to God is almost equivalent to obeying God. What do we accomplish when we obey God? We achieve oneness with Him and out of that unity comes wisdom.   But when we listen to other people, we’re not always instructed to obey. Listening well helps us create harmony and builds up others.  For example, Ephesians 4:29.   In our church choir, our director often reminds us to listen carefully to the other singers around us and to the other sections. When we sing in tune with others, the result is harmony.   In our regular interactions with friends and family, we listen to understanding them more clearly and to respond constructively rather that react destructively. We minimize conflict, we contribute to a harmonious relationship, and we might even build intimacy. When we listen to someone else, we communicate respect and concern. We tend to trust others more easily when they are good listeners.

I’m beginning to understand why listening is more important than anything else we might be inclined to do. It contributes to unity and harmony. When we are one with God (through obedience) and one with others (through understanding), we begin to demonstrate wisdom in dealing with life.

A Good Person Doing Good Things

Why don’t we hear more about good people doing good things in our communities? This bothers me, so I keep my eyes open for noteworthy people who aren’t in the news. Dr. Michelle Woody strikes me as one of these people. I’m getting to know her as one of my LPC Interns and here’s what I see:

Michelle specializes in counseling children and youth from families experiencing domestic violence, substance and/or sexual abuse. She is a ‘first responder’ for families in deep trouble and people who encounter multiple forms of misery. She has tough skin. But through her toughness comes a very sensitive and compassionate spirit that reveals her genuine caring. She takes seriously the Bible’s directive to “Defend the cause of the poor and the fatherless! Vindicate the oppressed and suffering.” (Psalms 82:3)

Often, highly educated people operate at a lofty theoretical and abstract level. Not Michelle. She communicates effectively with young people who have very little sophistication but whose needs are very concrete. Did I mention she has a Doctorate degree from USC in Educational Psychology? Her dissertation was entitled, “Evidenced Based Practices in two Juvenile Detention Centers in Los Angeles County.” Wow. While in LA, she was the Executive Director of a residential treatment facility for adolescent boys who had substance abuse and legal challenges. She is able to see the world from the both kids’ point of view and the academic and professional view.

Often, individuals who are highly educated and skilled in Psychology are not very spiritual. Michelle, however, sees herself as a broken person in a fallen world who needs to constantly abide in her Savior for wisdom, courage and direction in life. As a Professor at Dallas Theological Seminary, she teaches Master’s level classes in the Biblical Counseling Department.

In Michelle we see a highly educated woman who chooses to serve those in serious trouble with the wisdom and grace only found in Christ. It seems to me that she has chosen to develop her most important character traits at a high level while maintaining a practical effectiveness with those who are without resources and who want to transition to a better life.

This is some of the good news about a good person. Are you looking for help? If you would like her to help you, your kids, or your whole family, call her at 310-923-6824. I’m very impressed by the character and competence of this woman.

Choices

I suppose everyone comes away from an art exhibition with different impressions.  My wife and I did.  We went to the Kimbell Art Museum in Fort Worth yesterday and slowly soaked in every painting in the special exhibition, “Masterpieces from the National Galleries of Scotland.”  Then we went back through the floor and played our game: “Pick out one piece you’d like to take home with you.”  That’s were you realize what you value.  I had to select two, but they both had one theme to me: CHOICES.

I’ve never been a big fan of Paul Gauguin’s paintings, but this one, Three Tahitians (1899), gripped me.  In it, the young man is faced with a choice. The woman on the right with flowers represents virtue.  The woman on the left, holding a mango, represents sensuality.   I think every human being faces this choice at some level every day. Do we opt for virtue or vice, worthwhile or worthless?

I’ve always been a fan of Vermeer, but this one is a little different that his usual style. Christ in the House of Martha and Mary (1655) depicts the New Testament narrative in Luke 10 in which Christ talks to Martha but points to Mary. Mary has chosen to worship the Lord and listen to what He has to say, while Martha is preoccupied with the worries of her actions and with serving. Certainly, nothing is wrong with serving others, but when we have a choice of good deeds (works?) versus worship, the latter is always the better choice.

In my more virtuous moments, I’m really interested in aligning my attitudes and actions with what delights God. I want my visible life to represent God’s work in my heart. I want a godly humility and gentleness to characterize my dealings with people. Sometimes it’s hard to be patient, showing tolerance for others in love.  It’s easier to be divisive and judgmental than healing and redemptive. In addition, since I tend to be a driver and a doer, I need to emphasize more of Mary’s attitude of worship and meditation over action. Way back in the Old Testament, God has made it clear that He delights in loyalty rather than sacrifice and in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. (Hosea 6:6) It’s hard for me to get past the notion of trying to please God or worse, to impress Him, with my hard work.

It’s hard to tell what any artist has in mind about the impact of his art, but when good art strikes a deep chord about what life is about, it transcends time and culture to stir many personal reactions. These are my reactions to these two pieces.

Truth, Falsehood, Fire & Water: An Ethiopian Allegory

I borrowed this allegory from Heather Forest’s book, Wisdom Tales from Around the World, but added my own conclusion.  At our monthly men’s group, we each present five minutes of our thoughts on the same virtue.  This month it was “Truth.”  So I share my five-minute contribution.  What are your thoughts on the value of truth and the virtue of seeking it?

Long ago, Fire, Water, Truth and Falsehood lived together in one large house. Although all were polite toward each other, they kept their distance. Truth and Falsehood sat on opposite sides of the room. Fire constantly leapt out of Water’s path.

One day they went hunting together. They found a large number of cattle and began driving them home to their village. “Let us share these cattle equally,” said Truth as they traveled across the grasslands. “This is the fair way to divide our captives.”

No one disagreed with Truth except Falsehood. Falsehood wanted more than an equal share but kept quiet about it for the moment. As the four hunters traveled back to the village, Falsehood went secretly to Water and whispered, “You are more powerful than Fire. Destroy Fire and then there will be more cattle for each of us!

Water flowed over Fire, bubbling and steaming until Fire was gone. Water meandered along, cheerfully thinking about more cattle for itself.

Falsehood, meanwhile, whispered to Truth. “Look! See for yourself! Water has killed Fire! Let us leave Water, who has cruelly destroyed our warmhearted friend. We must take the cattle high in the mountains to graze, out of Water’s reach.”

As Truth and Falsehood traveled up the mountain, Water tried to follow. But the mountain was too steep, and Water could not flow upwards. Water washed down upon itself, splashing and swirling around rocks as it tumbled down the slope. Look and see! Water is still tumbling down the mountainside to this day.

Truth and Falsehood arrived at the mountaintop. Falsehood turned to Truth and said in a loud voice, “I am more powerful than you! You will be my servant. I am your master. All the cattle belong to me!”

Truth rose up and spoke out, “I will not be your servant!”

They battled and battled. Finally they brought the argument to Wind to decide who was master.

Wind didn’t know. Wind blew all over the world to ask people whether Truth or Falsehood was more powerful. Some people said, “A single word of Falsehood can completely destroy Truth” and “Falsehood is easier to market to the masses than the truth.”  Others insisted, “Like a small candle in the dark, Truth can prevail and drive out darkness. After all, falsehood has no substance of its own. It’s simply the absence of truth.”

Wind finally returned to the mountain and said, “I have seen that both Truth and Falsehood are equally powerful and one cannot prevail for long against the other. And it shall be that way forever.

Then Spirit spoke from a cloud on the mountaintop. No! This leaves people with no hope. The one that is more powerful is the one who will withstand the test of time. Take one away and see what happens to the other. Take away Truth and, over time, Falsehood will not stand. It will stumble over itself. But take away Falsehood and, over time, Truth will continue to stand like a light on this mountaintop. Truth will remain the same till the end. So the contest is not so much between Truth and Falsehood but between the wise man who seeks Truth and the foolish man who settles for momentary satisfaction.

Antithetical Complementarity

Art does not often move me. I’m auditory; art is visual. But my son moves me and he is an artist. He recently commissioned a work by a Venezuelan artist, Rafael Araujo, and hung it in his office. My initial response at our family viewing/party was “l like it because I love him.” Then I kept looking. The more I looked, the more I saw. The more I saw, the more I was moved. Here’s what it stirred in me.

In the language of the artist, “Araujo creates an imagined mathematical framework of three dimensional space where butterflies take flight and the logarithmic spirals of shells swirl into existence.” What I saw was the stiffness and rigidity of the construction lines providing a realm within which the butterflies could flow along their patterned courses with fluidity. Rigidity and fluidity come together. Mechanical drawing all by itself is just that, pretty mechanical. A view of butterflies flying around by themselves is rather chaotic and, to me, pretty fluffy. Each has its own brand of “pretty” (or at least interesting) but when they merge in a complementary manner, mutually offering and receiving qualities to the other, they express a completeness that is fundamental to life. This concept resonates with my world of counseling.

I counsel couples. Often, one of them is very functional while the other is very aesthetic. So he leaves his “stuff” where things can easily be reached – in piles, in stacks, where he last used them. She objects to the visual clutter, the unsightly “mess” within which she cannot relax without putting it in order. The resolution of the conflict lays not in one side winning over the other, but in creatively finding ways for his functionality and her aesthetics to serve one another. Yes, to enhance and enrich the other so that the resulting unit thrives at a harmonious higher level.

Then, there’s the playful, spontaneous partner, tugging against the responsible, planned partner. One seems to be antithetically opposed to the other. Perhaps, with a little creativity, this couple can experience “planned spontaneity” or even “playful responsibility”. The goal is complementary enrichment.

Ultimately, beyond the possible myriad human experiences, I see a picture of the character of God himself! Is He a God of wrath or a God of love? Yes, perfectly! Is He just (executing justice) or merciful (granting grace)? Yes, perfectly.   God’s punishment of his people in the Old Testament was always accompanied with a compassionate plea to return to him so he could bless them. In his wrath, he never rejects his chosen people. He loves them. His holiness and justice require him to administer sanctions as consequences; his mercy and love require him to provide a way back to his caring arms and his blessings. So Paul can say

“ . . . that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.”   (Romans 3:26)

and the psalmist can (without fully realizing it) anticipate how God’s complementary nature showed forth on the cross, where Christ took on the wrath of the Father and provided loving access to his eternal security.

Lovingkindness and truth have met together;
Righteousness and peace have kissed each other.   (Psalm 85:10)

My friend, Dr. Larry Waters, recently presented a talk at the Dallas Theological Seminary chapel in which he described the personal traits of that great man of God, Martin Luther. Listen to how he was described: “Rough and tender; poet and boxer; boisterous and devout; deadly serious and a possessor of keen wit; exquisitely sensitive and volcanic invective; and bold before men while humble before God.” I think that as we surrender our lives to God, we take on more and more of His characteristics even the blending of those characteristics that don’t seem to fit with each other.

Would that this goal of conciliatory complementarity would infect our political system. In the wake (wave) of last week’s election returns, I’m reminded of why I’m frustrated with politics. If God is present at all, the Republicans believe that their emphasis on balance budget, family values and small government is aligned with God’s priorities. But the Democrats believe that social need provided by the government is the priority that is closest to God’s character. Why can’t the answer be “Yes.” Then our work could be characterized by creating an enriched harmony of antithetical complementarity.

Back to butterflies. My son’s painting moved me because it pictures a timeless universal reflection of how the world ought to work. There is no winning in the war against one good thing versus another. There are no “trump cards” in the deck of antithetical complementarity. Real victory comes from rigid structure and free mobility integrating harmoniously in an organized fluidity.

Counseling for India

A selfless gentleman with tremendous power to change the lives of other people presents a picture you have to experience to appreciate. I have recently met such a man. Suresh Bolem came from India to study counseling at Dallas Seminary. In a strange country (that would be us), responsible for a wife and two children, he seeks ways to make personal counseling accessible to those who have neither the money nor the time to take advantage of its benefits. I will be working with Suresh as he completes his 3,000 hours of supervised counseling experience required to get his LPC (Licenses Professional Counselor). But it won’t be all about what I can provide for him. I will be learning from him about the Indian culture in preparation for my teaching counseling to the Asian Christian Academy in January 2016. In the meantime, he needs financial support, job opportunities in the counseling field, and more connections with people in this professional community. Read his story below and see what you can do to support him.

 

I am Suresh E Bolem, a recent graduate of Masters in Biblical Counseling at DTS (Dallas Theological Seminary). My life and times are swamped with God’s grace, loaded and stamped with God’s mercy. Like Paul I say, “Whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me…” Like David I say, “Who am I Lord, what is my family that you should have brought me to this point?”

I was born in a Hindu family where multi-gods worship was ruled. Our forefathers were affluent and their income would put them distinctly in the middle class bracket. I chose to become a follower of Jesus Christ when He visited me in a special way. The world calls me a convert to Christianity. I have no problems with that, though I see my faith more as a relationship with God through Jesus Christ than as a religion. I am fiercely proud of my national identity as an Indian and I am completely at peace with my cultural identity as a Hindu. I met my wife Swarna in 1999 and we were blessed with two children (Bhuvan Tej & Nitin Tej).

I remember my faith encounter with God, it was a simple affair no miracles, no angels visiting. All I did was utter a deep human cry out to the creator God and His only son Christ Jesus. The encounter that I had shall not even attempt to understand, rationalize or explain. I simply accept Him who gave His life as a ransom for me. It is my faith. It is what I choose to believe.

It was my Mom, who was my inspiration behind my choice to serve the Lord. My mother, who used to go around the known families in our village sharing her testimony and good news about Jesus, was the inspiration for me to choose this path in my child-hood. It happened unknowingly but God out of His Sovereign-will designed my path to be His instrument.

When I accepted Jesus and repented my sins, I felt that something from another world came upon me and I knew I was totally a different person. My life took a different turn indeed a peculiar turn but a beautiful turn with Jesus in it that day in February 1998. I have experienced real joy and peace in my life through Him. The very moment I gave my life to the Lord, the meaning of God’s call into the ministry became clear to me. The reason I could understand God’s call was because I was now in right relationship with Him through Christ Jesus, the Son of God. I, then, had dedicated myself to the service of living God. Life has been wonderful as I’ve found the secret of its success thru Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.

I started my M. Div., course in Southern Asia Bible College (an Assemblies of God School), Bangalore, India (in 2000), where I’ve began experiencing empowerment and infilling of the Holy Spirit. The next three years I lapped up God’s Word in a systematic form, hungrily. God used all my teachers to shape my life and ministry. During weekends, in those three years, I had a privilege to be a part of pastoral ministry at Whitehouse AG Telugu Church in Bangalore, India.

My first fulltime ministry assignment was with the Maranatha Veda Patasala (Bible School) in Hyderabad India, the year being 2003. I was called to be Bible Teacher for the Maranatha Bible School where I served as an academic dean for 3 years. I also served as an associate Pastor in Maranatha Visvasa Samajam (a Faith Community Church) in Hyderabad, where I used to lead the worship and also taught in the men fellowship. I lead a group of students to the weekend ministry, almost all parts of the state (Andhra Pradesh), for personal evangelism and preaching in open-air meetings, youth camps and conventions of churches. It helped me to understand different cultures and also got an opportunity to preach the gospel in different platforms.

I also wrote articles for Maranatha Messenger a Telugu monthly magazine, which sharpens my thoughts. Pastor Moses Choudary (Founder of Maranatha Visvasa Samajam), one of my spiritual mentors, trained me in the essentials of Christian writings. After three years of ministry with them, it became clear to me that my ministry would not be just teaching in a Bible School. So I moved out to pioneer a church and joined CBN-India an international organization for counseling ministry in the year 2006 to support the newly started church. This is entirely different and new ministry to me. God shown me people in different problems and placed me there to encourage the discouraged and despised, build the families and console the broken hearted, set captives free and to share the love of Christ. I’ve seen and observed the impact of the counseling ministry in and through the lives of the people.

God used me at different platforms of His service. It was counseling ministry that I have found God working underneath to transform the lives of the people in need. Without any counseling educational background God used me to touch many lives and that encouraged me to complete my Masters in Biblical Counseling at DTS recently.

Hope Counseling Initiative (HCI) at Colleyville Assemblies of God church is now providing mental health services and parental education by extending their service and reaching out to financially disadvantaged families, individuals including teens. Counseling is a very important service or tool used to help people to rise above their hurts and live a fulfilling life.  As a part of this service provider I see two major hurdles that have not been addressed so far. One of the common and major hindrances is COST in reaching out to people who need psychological services and counseling. On an ongoing basis many are unable to afford the growing industry cost starting between $80 – $300 per hour for counseling and psychological services. Second major hindrance for people unable to go through the help of counseling is TIME. In my limited time of experience, I have noticed people who could afford, are still unable to go for counseling due to the time factor. Before they can go for initial evaluation session they have to wait for more than a week or sometimes even several months. Addressing both the hindrances of TIME and COST for counseling and psychological services we have come up with the plan of attending to the families need beginning with the contribution from $5 per session based on house hold income and family size and we try our best in making appointments as early as possible (the main initial focus would be at Mid Cities in Dallas – DFW Metroplex). With all this said our plans will only be fruitful when you partner with HCI by supporting us financially. HCI relies on the generosity of those who understand the importance of counseling and willing to provide help to financially disadvantaged individuals and families. Without any hesitation I can say your support really does change people’s lives. I have witnessed and have been a part of change every single day and I encourage you to join HCI in changing people’s lives through your generosity.

 

I and my family [wife Swarna and Two boys Bhuvan Tej (13) and Nitin Tej (10)] are very thankful and looking forward for your partnership. I thank my God who inspires His people to extend their support to us that helping us funding to fulfill the task ahead of me. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart for your Christ-like kindness towards this ministry. Without your support it wouldn’t be possible to take such a challenging task forward to touch many lives. I pray that God would bless you and yours with thirty fold, sixty-fold and hundred-fold of blessings!