Good Counseling Comes to the Broader Community

Good counseling costs a lot of money.   But not always, thanks to Dr. Michael Leach.  He has opened Richland Oaks Counseling Center right in the middle of a multicultural area and commits to providing services that are

     accessible,

     effective

     and culturally responsive for all who participate.

Right across the street from Richland College near Abrams Road and Walnut St., “ROCC” provides easy access.

How does he do it?  First, he focuses on social justice rather than making a lot of money for himself.  That’s the kind of guy he is.  A highly trained and skilled therapist and educator himself, he opts to supervise doctoral students and master’s level students from Argosy University and other graduate schools in the Dallas area.

He holds to a vision of a community in which staff, clients and various community organizations join in supporting persons with mental health needs so that all persons have the opportunity, including the necessary services and supports, to participate, with dignity, in the life of the community, with its freedoms, responsibilities, rewards, and consequences.

So, here’s a good man doing a good thing in the community.  How can you benefit from this service?  Give them a call at 469-619-7622.  Check out their Facebook page by clicking here .  Then, give them a try.  Some cynics say about counseling, “What you want, you can’t afford and what you can afford, you don’t want.”  Here’s a refreshing exception.

Baby Boomer Divorce on the Rise

Researchers found the divorce rate among those 50 and older nearly doubled from 1990 to 2009.

The  video report of NBC’s John Yang states the statistics but spins the trend in a shallow way.   Okay, increased freedom and independence may be part of divorce adjustment.   Starting to do things you’ve always wanted to do sounds like a positive adjustment.  But it doesn’t sound to me like people are learning much by simply “getting used to going solo at middle age.”  I have some questions.

How can a couple learn to do more of what they want to do by helping each other?

Doesn’t learning how to build a relationship of intimacy sound more like growing into adulthood?

Where does personal growth fit into the picture?  I don’t believe “it is what it is” any more than “I am what I am.”  too static for me.  Seems to me that a healthy marriage is one that stimulates personal growth for each person!

If  “knowing God” is our ultimate goal in life (and I think it should be), then shouldn’t we devote ourselves to any and every means of complying with His design?

Do you have some questions?  Let’s hear them.

 

 

Training, Not Just Teaching

Arthur & Olga Alard

I met an interesting couple who offer practical and effective leadership training in Africa.   Americans could learn a lot from them.

What are the chances that a Russian woman with a medical degree in Epidemiology from Moscow would meet a South African man from Cape Town and get married? Yes, they met at Dallas Theological Seminary where Olga was studying World Missions and Intercultural Studies and Arthur was studying Biblical Counseling. Now they have a three-year-old son named Pavel Arturovich Alard (Russian for, Paul son of Arthur Alard). What do people do with academic master’s degrees like these?

Arthur and Olga Alard are serving with Entrust and More Than A Mile Deep (MMD) in South Africa as missionaries.  They like to say, “We’re multiplying leaders for multiplying churches.”  The name of the organization stems from a Bible passage in 2 Timothy 2:2 which says: “And ENTRUST what you heard me say in the presence of many others as witnesses to faithful people who will be competent to teach others as well.” The problem they faced with trying to train leadership in Africa loomed large from the reputation of spreading their work over a thousand miles wide but only an inch deep. But African church leaders have named their particular ministry “More Than a Mile Deep” because they have developed a program that results in deep roots that keep on multiplying.

MMD is a unique ministry because Africans have owned the development process and training and has being managing this project from the beginning. MMD learners don’t have to leave their ministry home base to receive training. Instead, MMD trainers take the training to the church leaders in their ministry contexts and facilitate the learning process with no more than 12 church leaders per group. The group is thus a co-mentoring group. They train the first generation of church leaders and the first generation church leaders become second generation trainers.  MMD’s Educational Philosophy is called Competency Development Learning. They don’t give exams, but instead assess the portfolios of each learner during and at the end of each course, tracking the progress of the ministry competencies which the church leader has developed through his/her involvement in real life ministry contexts.

Entrust and MMD offer an internationally recognized accredited, practical and quality program in partnership with the South African Theological Seminary – SATS.  What do they teach? SATS, Entrust and MMD are working on a joint project to write a new curriculum for social transformation in Africa, from a Biblical perspective. Included are courses such as Living A Practical Christian Life, Pastoral Guidance and Counseling in HIV and AIDS, Resolving Poverty and Divisive Ethnicity, Generating Sustainable Income, and Developing Business as Mission…and many more. That strikes me as very practical.

As missionaries with Entrust in South Africa Arthur and Olga are self-supported and rely on the financial support of partners. Checks can be made payable to ENTRUST with M128 on the memo line (not their names) and mailed to Entrust, PO Box 25520, Colorado Springs, CO 80936-5520.

Want to follow them on facebook?  Click here.

Don’t Forget to Remember Me

Emmanuel in Formal Attire

Emmanuel in My Office

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This week I met a very interesting man.  He has a gift for poetry.  He thinks creatively.  He envisions wonderful plans.  He comes to the United States from Nigeria so he can study theology and Bible at Dallas Seminary.  Perhaps his most impressive impact, beyond his talent and his winsome personality, is his devotion to the Lord and his desire to spread the joys of the Gospel to young people throughout his home country of Nigeria.  He founded an organization called “GoldSpringsGold” through which he hopes to encourage others to embrace  the riches of knowing Jesus and spring forth with scattering those blessings all around.  Keep watching Emmanuel because he should be contributing to the future prosperity and dignity of Africa in the coming years.  I share one of his poems with you.

DON’T FORGET TO REMEMBER ME.                               By – Emmanuel Olorunnisola

I AM the Creator of everything.
I know the beginning before it even began.
I see the end right from when it all began.
I have everything under my control.
I give you the will and power to choose.
Don’t forget to remember me.

I love you with all of my heart.
I AM with you even when I seem far away.
I hold the world in my hands.
And I hold you in my hands too.
In all you think and all you do,
Don’t forget to remember me.

There will be times when things will go smooth.
And all you get will make you soothe.
All you lay your hands on will bring you wealth.
And you will always be in good health.
When everything is working out well for you,
Don’t forget to remember me.

The sun rises to wake up the morning.
The sun shines to make it a day.
The moon comes up to bring down the evening,
The stars shine to make it a night.
Whether it be daytime or nighttime,
Don’t forget to remember me.

Even when it seems you are all alone:
And there’s no one to hear your voice.
Even when no one stands by you.
Even when no one believes in you.
And everybody turns his back on you,
Don’t forget to remember me.

Whether it be sunrise or sunset.
Whether it be seed time or harvest time.
Whether it be good times or bad times.
Whether it be day time or night time.
Whether it be time of birth or be it time of death.
Don’t forget to remember me.

There will be times when you will have plenty:
And your cup will surely overflow.
There will be times when you will be empty:
And there is nothing left to grow.
There will always be such times as these.
Don’t forget to remember me.

In the season when the lake is frozen.
In the season when the flowers blossom.
In the season when the storm rages
In the season when the harvest comes plenty.
In any season that comes and goes by.
Don’t forget to remember me.

When you can’t understand what is going on.
When there are more questions than the answers you get.
When you can’t find a way out of all your troubles.
When all you ask is ‘why?’ and wonder ‘why?’
When things get out of your control, and you want to give up.
Don’t forget to remember me.

I was stripped naked to give you covering.
I was crowned with thorns to make you rule your world.
I bore the cross to make you cross over.
I shod my blood to give you life.
I gave up life to make you live.
Don’t forget to remember me.

In all you do and not want to do.
In all you think and not want to think
In all you say and all you hear
In all your laurels and in all your loss
Whether in all or in nothing at all
Don’t forget to remember me.

“Understanding the Male of the Species”

Kelly G. Antwine, M.Ed., LPC

Kelly Antwine presented a verbal time-lapse picture of how the “Male of the Species” developed into what it is today.  Cultural pressures have shaped the roles in the home.  Prior to World War, 27% of the families lived on what they could produce on less than 100 acres of their homestead.   Neighbors helped each other.  Children worked along side their parents.  After the War, we clustered into the new invention called “suburbs.”
On the negative side, he explained how men have deteriorated relationally after returning from the War.

• Men no longer worked with their sons out on the farm producing the family’s sustenance.  Instead, they worked in the factory, away from the family.

• Men no longer worked cooperatively with one another in mutual assistance.  Instead, they competed for the ever-narrowing opportunities for advancement.
• Men no longer valued their worth on the blessings that provided dignity.  Instead, they turned to status defined by income and material possessions for their worth.

On the positive side, he called for restored manhood by

• sharing emotions and vulnerability with one another, implying that transparency builds intimacy.
• taking back the responsibility of training our sons how to be persons of integrity, refusing to outsource that responsibility to “professionals” like daycare workers and teachers.
• entering into a personal relationship with God that is genuine and authentic, resisting the temptation to just going through the motions of religious rituals that have little personal meaning.

Lots of good food for thought.  The North D/FW Chapter of the Christian Counselors of Texas organized the meeting which deserved more attendance than came.  Kelly is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Preston Place Counseling in Dallas.  He has a lot of experience with addiction recovery and can be contacted at 972-960-2222 or Kelly@PrestonPlaceCounseling.com.

Culture and Empathy in Cross-Cultural Counseling

When I taught a course on cross-cultural counseling, I faced the challenge of selecting the most critical issues to emphasize.  Clearly, empathy was identified as the critical condition for effective counseling.  Without empathy, people cannot connect.  With empathy, the work can begin.  I wish I had come across this article by Chung and Bemak when I was teaching.  My students would have had another paper to read.  It’s really good.  Drs. Rita Chi-Ying Chung and Fred Bemak are on the faculty at George Mason University.  (If you want to read the whole article, it’s in the Journal of Counseling & Development, Spring 2002, Vol. 80 Issue 2, 154-159.)  Here are some excerpts.

Abstract from the authors:

Empathy has been identified as a core condition for providing counseling. There are numerous articles discussing the components of empathy. However, as the U.S. becomes increasingly ethnically diverse and the world becomes more globalized, there is little discussion on how empathy will be effective with diverse populations. This article discusses the interaction of culture and empathy and suggests guidelines for establishing cultural empathy

Various Descriptions of Empathy

• the counselor’s ability to enter the client’s world (Rogers, 1961)
• to feel with the client rather than feel for the client (Capuzzi & Gross, 1999)
• to think with the client rather than for or about the client (Brammer, Abrego, & Shostrum, 1993)
• the therapist’s ability and effort to place him- or herself symbolically in the position of the client and understand the client’s world.

But empathic understanding alone is not enough for effective therapy. The therapist must also have the ability and skill to communicate and demonstrate empathic understanding so that the client perceives it. So it’s an extremely relational ingredient.

Worldview is defined as the way individuals perceive their relationship to the world.  Worldviews not only comprise attitudes, values, beliefs, opinions, and concepts but also affect how individuals think, make decisions, behave, define, and interpret events.  The challenge for the counselor is to place oneself inside the client’s frame of reference and then have the ability to effectively communicate one’s understanding of that world.   For example, Asian students believed that the counselor displayed greater empathy when the counselor considered the students’ cultural values, such as family or societal influences, than when the counselor focused on Western values of individualistic personal attributes and needs.

The display of culturally sensitive responses and attitudes by the counselor is more important than an ethnic match.  The counselor’s ability to do this may have an impact on their credibility and subsequent ability to be culturally empathetic.  When Chinese students perceived the counselor to be empathetically involved, they also perceived the counselor to be credible. The credibility predicted their willingness to be in counseling.

The authors list six major dimensions that significantly contribute to effective cultural empathy:

1. Understand and accept the context of family and community for clients from different cultural backgrounds. This is especially important given the collectivistic nature of many cultures that emphasizes the social-familial context.
2. Incorporate indigenous healing practices from the client’s culture when possible. An integration of traditional healing methods demonstrates that the counselor has a knowledge and understanding of the client’s beliefs and values. This requires an understanding of the client’s cultural conceptualization of mental health, manifestation of symptoms, and cultural expectations for treatment outcomes (Chung & Kagawa-Singer, 1995). If the counselor does not work within the cultural framework of health and mental health for each client, cultural empathy is likely to become an imposition of the counselor’s cultural value system rather than a culturally sensitive understanding of and response to the client’s problem. It is important to note that the incorporation of traditional healing methodologies does not mean that counselors must actually perform rituals such as Native American sweat lodge healing or sun dance, but rather that they work concurrently and cooperatively with traditional healers in true partnerships that entail the utmost respect for traditional healing methodologies (Bemak, Chung, & Pedersen, in press).
3. Become knowledgeable about the historical and sociopolitical background of clients. For example, the United States has a history of discriminatory behavior toward ethnic minority populations, such as the slavery of African Americans, genocide of Native Americans, and internment of Japanese Americans. In addition, immigrants in the United States may come from countries at war or countries that have long-standing conflictual relationships between different ethnic or religious groups. These issues have important bearing on how, when, and where cultural empathy is expressed by the counselor and requires counselors to be aware of and sensitive to the importance of transgenerational trauma on clients.
4. Be knowledgeable about the psychosocial adjustment that must be made by clients who have moved from one environment to another. This could range from relocating to another neighborhood or town; moving between urban, suburban, and rural settings; or migrating from one country to another. In all these instances, psychosocial adjustment plays a key role that would be important for a counselor to understand (Berry, 1997).
5. Be highly sensitive to the oppression, discrimination, and racism that are encountered by many people and often on a daily basis (Bemak et al., in press; Robinson & Ginter, 1999; D. W. Sue, Bingham, Porche-Burke, & Vasquez, 1999). It is essential for counselors to understand the nature and impact of this experience in the healing process while maintaining culturally appropriate empathy with these deeply rooted issues.
6. For those clients who feet underprivileged and devalued, it is essential for effective cultural empathy to facilitate empowerment for clients (see Bemak, 1998). This may require that counselors know about and provide information about community resources and services to clients and create supportive responses to clients so that they become confident and skilled in growing personally as well as promoting social change in their lives and communities.

In summary, to be effective with culturally diverse clients, it is critical that the counselor displays and demonstrates cultural empathy. Without the counselor’s culturally responsive empathy, there is a high probability of clients’ premature termination of counseling and the danger that the counselor will be ineffective with clients. Simply stated, the contribution of culturally responsive empathy is that it has the potential to greatly contribute to the healing process when working across cultures.

Help Children of Divorce

Kids suffer from divorce.  My heart goes out to these boys and girls who often demonstrate more common sense about getting along than their parents.  They face an enormous adjustment for which no kid is equipped without some help.   Now, KidWorks provides that help.  Here’s a note from Rob Pine, the Executive Director, ChristianWorks for Children, highlighting a strong leader, Monica Epperson, and a ten-year-old boy of divorced parents, Cody.   Watch the video, read their story, let your heart respond with some kind of support.   They need facilitators as well as financial support.  Are children important?  Jesus thought so: “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  (Matthew 19:14)

Rob writes:

God directed Monica Epperson our way to serve Him and join us as a National Representative for KidWorks, to develop and distribute materials, and to train others across the country.  She has a powerful story of her own as a child of divorce, and she has a passion to help children defeat the fears and worries that accompany that experience.  The author of two children’s books, Bounce and A Heart with Two Homes, Monica provides personal and heart-rendering insight into the issues that children of divorce face and into how KidWorks effectively addresses those issues.   She writes about this in a posting on the ChristianWorks.

It was a typical night at KidWorks, and all the groups had been in session for awhile.  The topic for the evening was Fears and Worries. One of the Middles’ facilitators suddenly appeared with a little boy named Cody who had asked to leave the group. Cody was obviously having a hard time that evening and began to cry. Our KidWorks Coordinator listened as he explained he wanted to leave because he didn’t want to cry in front of the other kids. In Cody’s own words, he expressed that “Fourth graders are too big to cry, but I know it’s alright to cry.” This exceptional ten year old boy must have felt very torn. As the conversation continued, he eventually shared what was behind the tears. His divorced parents continued to fight in front of him even while talking on the phone. The public display of his parent’s inability to get along was a big worry for him. After a bit of conversation, and composure on Cody’s part, he was ready to go back into the group. He felt better!

Cody was really brave to share as he did. He was brave enough to cry, even though it was not in front of the other kids. As is often the case with children of divorce, his pain and hurt were deeply rooted. Being able to release the pain and hurt is a step in the healing process.  KidWorks is a safe place where kids can share their deepest hurts along with their fears and
worries. Group facilitators help kids like Cody learn to address issues of divorce as well as help them learn coping skills to deal with those issues.

You can contact the KidWorks Coordinator, Beverly Ritz at britz@christian-works.org, for more information.

Setting the Pace for 2012

Riddle: It provides fun on New Year’s Eve, avoids unsafe travel, contributes to a good social cause, and builds intimacy in marriage.  Solution: “Nell’s Charity Ball” at the Sterling Hotel in Dallas.

At the Sterling Hotel, Dallas

The ballroom dance bug bit me this past year and the infection is spreading!  I’m guessing about 300 people danced to a live band in the largest ballroom I’ve ever seen.  Jack Melick’s Big Band played Auld Land Syne  at twelve . . . Twelve NOON, than is.  The ball began at 11:30 AM with a light lunch, interrupted by an announcement that somewhere in the world the New Year had begun.  The problem of dangerous night driving solved!

Sue Fitzgerald, Tango & Cha Cha

 

Sue Fitzgerald invited us.  In addition to radiating a lovely personality, she owns the dance studio, Tango and Cha Cha, in North Dallas where we have our dance lessons.  She is the newest addition to my list of good people doing good things in the community.  We plan to visit her studio as close to every week as possible in 2012.   Her sponsorship of two tables at this New Year’s Ball and the net proceeds went to support “The Children’s Advocacy of Plano”  and “The Children’s Hospital of Dallas,”  two wonderful agencies that serve the needs of abused or neglected children.

New Year's Eve 2011

 

For three hours we danced away the old year and set the tone for 2012.  The tone resonates with fun, intimacy, social connections, and good exercise.  I recommend ballroom dancing to build intimacy in a marriage.  More details on this will come in future blog posts.

 

If some of you dancers have already experienced this, add a comment with some specifics.

Healing through Horseplay!

Barbara Currence, MEd, LPC

Barbara Currence is a good person doing a good thing.   She uses horses to help people (ages 6 through adult) work through their personal problems.  What kind of problems can her approach help?

 

 

 

 

• learn creative thinking and problem-solving skills
• develop responsibility
• learn how to develop and maintain relationships
• develop effective communication skills
• discover how to deal with grief, loss and anxiety
• learn lifeskills such as trust, leadership, and teamwork
• develop boundaries, and discover what changes are needed
  to create healthy families and relationships

Why horses?  Here’s what she says:

Because horses are large and powerful, which creates a natural opportunity for some to overcome fear and develop confidence. Accomplishing a task involving horses creates confidence and provides for wonderful metaphors when dealing with other intimidating and challenging situations in life.

Horses are very much like humans in that they are social animals. They have defined roles within their herds. They would rather be with their peers. They have distinct personalities, attitudes and moods. An approach that seems to work with one horse, does not necessarily work with another. At times, they are stubborn and defiant. They like to have fun. In other words, horses provide vast opportunities for learning about our own world.

Check out her web site for lots of neat pictures and details like fees, location, contact information, etc.

How does it work?

Be sure to watch the video so you can get a feel for how it works.  Click here

This is an authentic approach that you can trust.   Helping through Horsing Around has received its certification through EAGALA (Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association) which is an international organization that is very professional and ethical and requires both the licensed therapist and the equine professional to receive additional hours to remain certified in EAP (equine-assisted psychotherapy).  EAGALA’s website is linked off of our’s, and is www.eagala.org

One kid put it best,

“At school when I am doing my work, I used to get so frustrated and give up. Now I just think about how frustrated I was getting the horse to do an activity, and that I didn’t give up and it worked. I remember that at school and it helps me to know I can do my schoolwork too.”

Other approaches not working for you?  Try horsing around.  They’re good people doing a good thing.

Counseling and Missions: Working Together!

Eric deLeeuwerk (DTS student), Dr. Lee Jagers, Pastor Iwan Sulistyawan, Jeff White

Dr. Mark Fulmer introduced this special Sunday school class (11/6/11) by calling our attention to how counseling is being used as an instrument of evangelism.  In the past, counseling was seldom considered as a tool for work in missions.  But in Indonesia, Jeff White and Lee Jagers have been working with Iwan Sulistyawan (a church planter) to do exactly this.

Pastor Iwan explained how he uses radio broadcasts to inform local villagers about principles to make life better.  He noted that radio is used not for entertainment, as in the USA, but for information and to bring the people in for discussion.  Is he effective?  Let the fruit of his labors answer that question: 1,300 churches established in the last 9 years, 6 counseling centers (Hope Centers) established in the past 5 years, 47 radio stations, and 16 orphanages.  All helping people live better lives.

Is it hard to do this in this predominantly Muslim/Hindu environment?  Not the way Iwan does it.  He explains that the radio sets the stage.  He may use an antenna tied to a mango tree to broadcast 20 yards so he is not too intrusive.  He gives hand crank radios to the villagers, one to a family, fixed on that one frequency.  The people so appreciate the helpful insights for living life better that they respond with their personal questions.  They are then referred to a local counselor who can get more personal.  As they question the motivation of the counselor, they hear about the love of Christ that is available to all of them.  When this leads to a testimony, a response, then a small group is formed.  The small group often gradually grows into an established local group with the encouragement of the local Imam because so many lives are changed for the better.

Is it dangerous?  Iwan says that often the local Imam is so appreciative of the social contribution of these “lessons” that often he is willing to support the establishment of a local church.  In some of the more radical Muslim areas, he remains less public. To see more, check out their video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7xWUxBqic0.

Jeff White and Dr. Jagers are working on plans to send counselors and students to Indonesia each summer to help with the training of workers in the islands.  Hope for the Heart (in Plano, Texas) supplies pamphlets on 100 counseling topics already translated into Indonesian. Our prayer support will greatly encourage and empower the multiplication of churches throughout the 17,000 islands of Indonesia.